ME AND MY IGNORANCE

When I was 10yrs old I had a friend that was brutally raped on her way back from church and she lost her life on the process because of that I was scared of so many things,like leaving my House in the evening,walking alone in the streets or someone walking directly behind me on the streets,I was also scared of guys and I hated them with passion,..since i was the only child,my mum supported every of my decisions,I decided I was not going to have anything to so with a man in my entire life, I also decided I was going to be a Revd sister when I grow up,I had no interest in sex education ,whenever I come across those that teach sex education I'll just assume they're wasting their time because I felt I didn't need it anyway,i lived my entire childhood in fear,loneliness and isolation so I grew up very vulnerable. When I was admitted into junior secondary school,I insisted on going to an all girls secondary school.I made just few friends and of course all of which were females.things went on and on until I travelled to my aunt's place at port-harcourt for the long vacation,while I was there I rejected all the advances made to me by the males counterpart  living in my  street,they hated me because of that but I didn't care.until one day,I met this new guy in church, he was singing in the choir and he has an amazing voice, he was very tall and fair,something about him stirred up something in me,I couldn't help but stare at him until the service was over.I quickly and surprising picked interest in him,.before I could know what was happening he became the reason why I go to church every Sunday and whenever he's not there,the service will be boring to me, I started making enquiries about him,I wanted to be friends with him at all cost but of course he didn't even notice,When it was time for me to go back to school at Enugu were I lived with my parents,I was so worried that I didn't succeed in being friends with Kennedy,it bothered me until the day I was leaving,my aunt prepared and was driving me to the park when our car spoilt along the road,.she immediately called someone to come pick us up but the person was late so  she also called the mechanic to come and  fix the car,..fortunately the mechanic came first so my aunt asked me to wait at the eatery that is close by while she went with the mechanic guy, after they left,I waited for the helper to come but he didn't show up until 2hours later,..at that time I was already very pissed,.I memorized what I was going to tell the guy when he gets there but the moment he walked through that door it's as if everything just stood still,and everything I had memorized vanished from my head like a flash,It was him,.my very first man crush he walked up to me and apologised for being late,I wanted to say that it was okay and he didn't have to apologise but my mind was practically blank and the words were stuck in my throat like a lump of food,it was choking me it couldn't come out and it couldn't go down at the same time,.i just sat there moping like a moron until he held my hand and said that my aunt asked him to take care of  me and make sure i got to the park safely,everything was perfect at that moment,inside of me it was the most exciting and fulfilling feeling have ever had my entire  life,and i wished the sun will never come down  (To be cont'd)
[9/21, 3:20 PM]